That Dichotomy of Thought and Feeling
by EstellaB
Summary: He doesn't understand why they visit him. It is irrational that they still consider him a friend. Irrational, but he cannot help but be pleased.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Zack **_**definitely **_**wouldn't be where he is. (Maybe Cam. Maybe it never would have happened in the first place. Not Zack, though).**

* * *

"I don't know the normal parameters for this type of social interaction."

It's the line that she leads with, and he's glad that she doesn't try to make small talk. It would be stupid, irrational. It's irrational that she comes at all, in fact.

"I don't think this counts as a normal social situation; perhaps no normal parameters exist."

"Perhaps I just need Booth to 'mediate my interpersonal encounters'."

She tries to smile, but ends up biting her lip instead. It is uncomfortable, for both of them, to be talking without a table full of bones between them. It is irrational, he thinks, for him to look forward to her visits. They leave him feeling lonely, wishing he could go back and change everything. Such wishes make no sense, but he has to live with them; why is he glad that she visits him? He should be aiming to develop interpersonal relationships with his peers, not trying to cling to what has passed. He is, after all, one of them now.

There is a moment or two of silence, but she pulls something out of her purse, and pushes it across the table.

"Booth asked me to give you this. He wants you to know that Parker still loves the robot."

The photograph brings an unexpected grin to his lips. Dr Brennan sitting cross-legged on the floor, with Parker opposite her, and his robot doing push-ups between them. Dr Brennan is wearing comfortable sweats, and he postulates that Agent Booth took the photo without her knowing. Dr Brennan and Parker look like part of a family. He misses that.

"You appear to be happy. I'm glad." He is, impossibly glad, and that confuses him too. It is irrational; surely he should wish that Dr Brennan was missing him, but instead he finds that he wants her to be content. "You know, Agent Booth visited me last week. He brought me pie."

In some ways, he does not like to remember the visit. It had been even more awkward than this: Agent Booth, the law-enforcer; Dr Addy, the criminal. He had appreciated the thought, though, and Agent Booth had said something that made him think. He will tell her in a minute. For now, he studies her for her reaction. He has told her because he hopes it will please her; perhaps the thwarted smile from before will make an appearance. It does not, but he thinks she is probably still pleased.

"I don't like pie."

"It was blueberry pie." He studies his gloved hands, thinking about the strands of collagen that are forming scar tissue, microscopic healing taking place, and decides that now is the right time to ask. "He told me that he didn't think I did it, Dr Brennan. I don't understand. The explosion, the... teeth, my _confession;_ how can he have evidence in front of him, and yet believe something else? It isn't rational." For a moment, he is nearly breathless; he knows what he wants her to say.

"Oh, Zack." Now she smiles, but she looks less happy than before. It doesn't make sense. "He means that he knows you did it, but he can't really _believe _it. He... he believes his 'gut', even when the evidence is stacked up against his feelings. Actually, I..."

She pauses, and her forehead furrows; it is the same as the look she wears when she is weighing one piece of information against another. Whatever she was going to say, she doesn't. She lets it go, and moves onto talking about the case they have just solved. He aches to be back in the lab, but he doesn't let it show. He smiles and laughs in the right places, adds up the evidence and blurts out a conclusion (the correct one) before she has reached the end.

The visit is over too quickly, and he doesn't know when someone will come again. His nurse walks him back to his room-his _cell_-and no matter how sad he feels, no matter how it made him homesick, he is still glad that she came.


End file.
